Mission: Excalibur
by MrsRegulusBlack123
Summary: When Squalo hears of a legendary sword that can make the wielder invincible, he can of course not just sit by and watch. He, along with Bel and Fran, set out to find the holy blade. But when they find it, will they be able to put up with Excalibur?


**Um... hi! Well, this just kind of popped in my mind and, well, here it is!**

**Before you read, in the KHR world, this is set after the anime, when Tsuna and all the others have already returned from the future. It contains some spoilers for chapter 347 of the manga if you haven't read it yet.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>'Ow, senpai, please stop throwing your freaky knives at me...' The small nine-year-old boy complained as he pulled a silver knife out of his Varia uniform. Fran sighed, tossing the blade aside before returning to the book opened up in his lap. Another jacket ruined courtesy to Prince The Ripper...<p>

'Ushishi~ no way, frog. The prince is bored.'

'So what? I'm a human, senpai, not your pincushion.' The teal-haired child said, his voice a perfect monotone. The blonde prince sitting in the seat opposite of Fran snickered, pulling another knife out from god-knows-where and chucking it at his kohai, clearly disappointed when the boy didn't react to having a knife stuck in that ridiculous apple hat of his.

'Che. You can't be human, humans react when they are stabbed. They scream, they panic, they die. They do _something_.' Bel grumbled, the eyes hidden under his long bangs narrowed at Fran. 'You, on the other hand-'

'VOOOOIIIIII! Shut the hell up, will you?'

The scream did, in fact, shut the boys up, both of them turning to look at the third person inside the Varia's personal jet, a long-haired swordsman who seemed to be in a particularly bad mood that morning.

'There's no need to burst our eardrums, long-haired commander...' The boy known as Fran told him flatly, massaging his poor ears. He couldn't wait to get the hell back to Mukuro and his gang... these people were just too annoying.

Unfortunately for him though, he was doomed to spend the day with a loud grandpa that had ridiculously long hair and a narcissistic fake-prince, looking for some legendary sword the sword emperor had decided he _absolutely_ had to have.

How annoying...

'I don't get it,' Belphegor pouted, leaning back into his armchair and making himself comfortable as he twirled a knife around his slender fingers 'why couldn't Mammon come instead of the dumb frog? She's much more fun, not to mention, has puffy cheeks.'

'I would've preferred Mammon as well, Bel.' The swordsman snapped in annoyance at the teenage prince sitting in the seat behind him. 'The damn baby just asked for a ridiculously large amount of money. When I finally agreed to it, she refused to come along.'

'Huh~ Mammon letting a chance to earn money go? Ushishi, hell must be freezing over...'

'I know, right.' Squalo grumbled, shifting the ice pack a bit so that it was covering his entire right eye, which was currently sporting a giant purple bruise. 'The moment I mentioned the name "Excalibur", she got this really weird face and smashed the door right into my face.'

'Ushishi, it's a pity the prince missed that~'

'Voi. Shut up, brat.'

* * *

><p>The jet had landed a while ago and so the three assassins had been left to walk through complete nothingness as they searched for this cave in which the legendary sword was rumored to be, Squalo carrying a big leather-bound book under his arm as Bel and Fran followed closely behind, bickering about something the silver-haired swordsman had deemed unimportant.<p>

'This should be it.' Squalo finally said as he came to a stop in front of a cave opening, flipping the book open and checking the directions again to confirm they had the right location.

'It doesn't really look like much...' Fran commented, sounding pretty uninterested as his teal eyes scanned the inside a bit. 'And it's wet._ Senpaaai_, carry me.'

The nine-year-old reached out to the blonde prince, who just stared at him for a good few seconds before kicking him away, sending the poor child toppling right into the small river of water inside the cave.

'Ow... it's cold in here, senpai...'

'Che, princes don't carry peasants, you frog.' The blonde simply responded, somewhat harsher than what was actually required, wrinkling his nose in distaste as stepped inside the cavern as well, careful not to step into the water. 'The prince's boots will get wet. There's no way in hell I'm ruining my boots for a stupid sword.'

'VOOIII! Who cares about your shitty boots, brat? You can buy new ones later!' Squalo shouted, swinging the sword strapped to his wrist at the teenage prince, who didn't seem the least bit phased by the action.

Instead, Belphegor grinned widely, an evil look in his hidden eyes as he turned to look at Squalo.

'Ushishi, the prince has an idea~'

* * *

><p>'Stupid, evil, shitty little-'<p>

'Ushishi, Stop grumbling and walk on, peasant.' Bel snickered as he poked the swordsman's head, grinning in pure glee. He was enjoying this way too much for his own good.

'Could you hurry up a little, long-haired commander? I'm really starting to get stiff here...' Fran chirped up as he shifted uncomfortably, readjusting his apple-hat so it didn't accidentally slide off and fall into the water.

A vein popped on Squalo's forehead, and he instantly found himself full out screaming.

'VOOOOIIIIII! If you've got complaints then walk on your own, you shitty brats!' He shouted, half-hoping his fellow assassins would get the hint and get the hell off. But no such luck of course, both the nine-year-old and sixteen-year-old stayed firmly seated, the latter latched onto his back, his legs wrapped around the swordsman's torso as the frog stayed still, allowing himself to be carried bridal-style.

Sometimes Squalo really found himself wondering whether he was an assassin or a babysitter, because with Bel and Fran around, he was really starting to doubt the right answer.

'VOOOIIII! Stop pulling at my hair, you bastard!'

'Ushishi, no can do, _strategy commander Squalo._' He pronounced the tittle almost mockingly, grinning his usual Cheshire cat grin. 'By the way, maybe we should ask that thing over there for directions.'

The blonde prince nodded at a little winged creature staring at them curiously, apparently wondering what the ruckus was all about. She flew over to them, smiling at the weird assassin trio.

'Oh look, it's a fairy.' Fran offhandedly commented, leaning in a bit closer to get a better look.

'Voi, you. Which way can we find the legendary sword, Excalibur?'

Instantly, the fairy's smiling face was replaced by a sour expression which caused the assassins to raise an eyebrow as she pointed in a direction and promptly flew off. Squalo was strangely reminded of the expression Mammon made when he'd mentioned the famous sword, how weird.

Shrugging it off, the swordsman walked on.

It wasn't long before they found it, a small crater in the middle of the cave, a beautiful silver and gold sword stuck into the stone. Squalo instantly dropped Bel and Fran on the hard rock, walking over to the sword and inspecting it.

'Voi...' It truly _did_ look like an amazing blade... if only he could find a way to strap it to his wrist, it would surely come very handy during his missions. It was so smooth and beautiful, a true masterpiece of swords. With it, the swordsman was sure his abilities could be honed to perfection. Squalo _had_ to get that sword.

The silver-haired assassin reached out for the hilt of the sword, a determined look crossing his features. The sword emperor would not be leaving this cave without that sword. Before he could actually grab the sword though, two other, smaller hands got wrapped around its hilt first, pulling it out with what seemed to be minimal effort. Squalo blinked.

'Oh... look, senpai. Looks like I'm the chosen one...'

There, just inches away from him, Fran stood, the legendary sword that could grant one everlasting victory and glory in his small hands.

'VOOOOIIIIII!'

'What? No way!' Bel exclaimed, the eyes under his long blonde bangs wide. 'Put that back, frog! Only a prince can be the chosen one!'

'Well, then you're unlucky, aren't you? You're nothing but a fallen fake prince.' Fran commented, putting the sword back into the ground anyway. 'You're free to try, but a fake like you won't be able to pull it out...'

'Of course I will!' Bel snapped back at the frog indignantly, shoving Squalo out of the way as he strode over to the sword, smirking arrogantly. 'Ushishi, I am a prince _and_ a genius, after all.' With that, the self-proclaimed prince grabbed onto the sword and pulled it out with one swift move.

'Ah? It probably wasn't inserted right...' Fran murmured moving to sit down on his butt, pulling his legs up to his chest.

'Ushishi, don't try to make up excuses, frog. The prince pulled it out, thus, he is the chosen one.'

'VOOOOIII! You little-' The swordsman could end what he was saying, Squalo was abruptly cut off by a bright white light filling the cave, causing Bel to let go off the sword and back off as he covered his hidden eyes.

'Greetings!' An incredibly pompous voice was suddenly heard, causing the assassins to look around in alarm, but no one else except three of them was in there. 'I am Excalibur!'

Turning back in front of them, the assassins couldn't help but be surprised at the sight they were met with. It was a white little... creature... with a big hat and a white blouse... but no pants.

'That's Excalibur? Wow, he's...'

'...lame...' Bel finished for Fran, making the teal-haired illusionist nod. It was the first (and probably last) time the two of them ever agreed on anything.

'Voi...' Even Squalo agreed.

'Then, in that case, may I ask who _you_ are?' "Excalibur" asked, pointing his white cane at the blonde assassin prince, who was momentarily taken aback, before a grin slowly slipped back onto his lips.

'Ushishi, you may call me _prince_ Belphe-'

'My legend starts in the 12th century.' The creature cut him off, shocking Bel to silence, no one but Xanxus and Squalo had ever dared interrupt him. 'From the looks of it, you're not from around here. Where are you from?'

'VOOOIII! Don't point that thing at me, you little shit!' Squalo exclaimed, squatting the cane away from his face. 'And we're from Ital-'

'I know.' He cut in, this time pointing his cane at Fran, who simply blinked, his face remaining apathetic. 'I will show you something.'

'Kachiing.' Belphegor hissed, three knives instantly appearing in his hand. 'This peasant is starting to piss the prince off...'

'Do you want to hear my legend?'

'Not really, no.' Fran said, sounding just as uninterested as he was, his apathetic eyes following the white creature as he paced around.

'Fool!' The creature exclaimed, trying to whack Fran on the head with his cane, only to meet the material of his apple hat. 'Never interrupt me!'

'But I didn't... you're the one that keeps interrupting-'

'On a scale from one to twelve, which is your favorite number?'

'Ushishi, the prince settles with nothing less than the best, one of course.'

'VOOOIII! Yeah! Only first place is acceptable!'

'Fools! You've got no right to chose! My legend begins in the 12th century.'

'Yeah, you already mentioned that...' Fran muttered, having realized that Excalibur wasn't listening to any them. Very few people on this earth were able to accomplish the feat of irritating the teal-haired illusionist called Fran, but this weird little creature was successfully managing to make the boy lose his cool. And fast.

'Do you want to hear my legend?'

'VOOOIIIII! We don't give a shit about your stupid le-'

'Fool! Let me speak. My legend begins in the 12th century.'

'That's it! This peasant is going down!' Bel hissed, a fan of knives appearing in each hand as he lunged at Excalibur, eager to turn the _thing_ into Swiss cheese.

'Voi! Keep off him Bel!' Squalo exclaimed, holding the younger hitman back. As annoyed as he was by the creature, he was still the legendary sword that could help improve his skills.

'Fools! Do you know what this hat is?' Excalibur asked, pointing his cane at the big white top hat on his head.

'Ugly?' Fran deadpanned raising an eyebrow and making Bel snicker.

'Fool! I'll just have to teach you. The bigger a chef's hat is, the better he is!'

'So, you're a great cook...?'

'Fool! Whoever said I was a cook?'

'VOOOOIIIIIII! You're even more unbearable than the damn boss!' Squalo accused, pointing his sword in Excalibur's direction. 'Who the hell wrote this book! It's complete bullshit!'

'Ushishi~ Excalibur, it says...' Bel snickered as he read what was written on the book's back cover over Squalo's shoulder, grinning widely.

For a moment, the swordsman stared at it dumbfounded.

'! WHAT THE HELL? YOU WROTE THIS SHIT?'

'I don't do autographs.'

'VOOOOOOOOOIIIIII!' All of a sudden, three huge stacks of paper fell on the assassins, Bel managing to evade it by jumping out of the way and Fran's stack simply bouncing off his hat, but Squalo's hit him right on the head, filling the cave with another earsplitting scream of "VOOOOIIIIII!"

'To become my meisters you will need to fulfill these requirements.'

'Ushishi, that's got to be over five hundred pages...' Bel snickered, quickly flipping through the papers. 'And there's even writing on the back...'

'I would like you to pay close attention to rule number 452: All of you are to attend my five hour long reading out loud meeting. Now then!'

Excalibur raised his arms, the white light from earlier returning as he started to hover a few inches above the ground.

'You have been chosen! And thus you will obtain the heavens!'

The three Varia assassins exchanged looks, sharing silent nods.

'Victory and glory!'

'Victory!' Squalo cried out, gripping the hilt of the sword.

'And glory!' Bel followed suit, grabbing the sword as well.

'Now then, let us g- Oi! Hey! What are you doing...?' Excalibur cried out as the two assassins stuck the sword back into the stone, smirking proudly at their accomplishment.

'Voi! As if I'd ever use _you _as my sword!'

'Ushishi, the prince would never lower himself to that.'

'Yeah, you're totally annoying...'

With that, the three assassins turned around and were off. This was the first and last time the Varia ever failed a mission, but they were damn proud of having gotten rid of the menace called Excalibur.

* * *

><p>'Oi, Dame-Tsuna.' Reborn called out, kicking the door to his student's bedroom open and jolting the brown-haired teenager awake. The boy blinked as he sat up, looking around in panic for a few moments before his eyes fell on his tutor.<p>

'Eh? R-Reborn?' Sawada Tsunayoshi, also known as the Vongola Decimo, questioned, looking at the fedora-wearing baby warily. You never knew what that crazy infant would try. 'Hiii!' Tsuna barely had the time to raise him arms and catch the package flying towards him at full speed, the force of the thing sending him toppling off the bed.

'Owww! What was that for?'

'You got a package from an anonymous sender...' The infant said, shrugging and turning around to walk off. Mama had prepared omelets this morning and Reborn wanted to get to them before the stupid cow did.

'A package...?' Tsuna wondered as he was left alone in his room. Staring at the parcel for a few more moments, Tsuna's curiosity took the best of him. He lost no time turning the thing over and ripping the paper off, pulling the green book out of its wrappings. 'Excalibur?' He questioned, reading the book's tittle. 'What's that?'


End file.
